Bible Beaters

In The Beginning – (Genesis 1-2)

In The Beginning – (Genesis 1-2)

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Podcast: Play in new window | Download (Duration: 56:00 — 51.5MB)

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EP1 (Genesis 1-2) of the Bible Beaters podcast Kyle and Caleb explain (poorly) the idea behind the podcast and a little bit about themselves. Then they go back into the beginning of time starting Genesis 1:1 In the beginning God created the heavens and the earth. We go over the first week in existence and why the liquor stores close early on Sundays. Adam gets settled into the garden of Eden and Eve comes along causing trouble in paradise.

Fuck Yourself In The Name Of Yourself (Deuteronomy 29)

Fuck Yourself In The Name Of Yourself (Deuteronomy 29)

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Podcast: Play in new window | Download (Duration: 1:06:44 — 62.0MB)

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EP75 (Deuteronomy 29) Our hosts extol the virtues of rugby culture. A heated debate ensues over the ethnicity of Jews versus the religious jew. We finally agree that it comes down to headware. Biblically, covenants are like insurance, you have to renew them every year. So Moses demands they Jews renew their covenant except this one comes with the caveat that the Jews will inevitably break it thus bringing horribly calamities on themselves in the name of the lord. Many badass threats follow and it ends with a choice. The Jews choose death.

Fruit Of The Womb

Fruit Of The Womb

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Podcast: Play in new window | Download (Duration: 1:26:29 — 81.0MB)

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EP74 (Deuteronomy 28) In this episode we learn what it means to be the subject of god’s jealousy. If you do not follow the lord you can expect somebody to steal yo gurl, people to borrow your donkey and not return it, your food won’t grow, you will eat your children, and nice sensitive women won’t share their placenta because they are so hungry. That escalated quickly. We solve the problem of what happens after you die.