EP1 (Genesis 1-2) of the Bible Beaters podcast Kyle and Caleb explain (poorly) the idea behind the podcast and a little bit about themselves. Then they go back into the beginning of time starting Genesis 1:1 In the beginning God created the heavens and the earth. We go over the first week in existence and…
Read MorePodcast: Play in new window | Download (Duration: 56:00 — 51.5MB)
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Ep169 (1 Kings 15 -16)Me and my homies talk about revisiting old movies that you thought were good but are actually just a premake of a newer movie with the same characters and the drug trips are fake af. The Jewish civil war continues even after the death of King Jeroboam. Caleb makes a huge…
Read MorePodcast: Play in new window | Download (Duration: 1:22:49 — 113.7MB)
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Ep168 (1 Kings 15) It’s Caleb’s birthday so everyone gets handjob because we are close buddies. We get into the reign of Asa no not the pornstar. Asa has a civil war with the Jeroboam in the north. Unfortunately all the details are recorded in another book which we do not have access to. This…
Read MorePodcast: Play in new window | Download (Duration: 1:13:51 — 101.4MB)
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Ep16 (1 Kings 14) Happy Valentines day dipshits. We reinvestigate the story of Steve and Larry the lying prophet and how this relates to biblical interpretation. So king Jeroboam’s kid gets sick. The king tells his wife to don a disguise and go visit a blind prophet. Why she needs a disguise for blind man…
Read MorePodcast: Play in new window | Download (Duration: 1:14:16 — 102.0MB)
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Ep166 (1 Kings 13) Caleb has had his balls removed. In Bible times, king Jeroboam is worshipping cows will nilly so god sends a man from Judah to put a stop to it. The man uses his god powers to wither the king’s hand and then restore it. The king tries to repay the jesus…
Read MorePodcast: Play in new window | Download (Duration: 49:14 — 67.6MB)
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Ep165 (1 Kings 12) Kyle gets beat down worse than Connor Macgregor. Solomon has died and the Kingdom is passed to his son Rehoboam. His first order of business is to tell all his dad’s advisors to go fuck themselves and hire his buddies. Next, he tells his subjects that the beatings will continue until…
Read MorePodcast: Play in new window | Download (Duration: 1:23:45 — 115.0MB)
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Ep 164 (1 Kings 11) Much like christ, the Lord of Hosts has been forsaken by his father. The King of Tardness finds this hilarious and bullies him. 3000 years ago Solomon has finished notching his bed post for the literal thousandth time. Dem asses makes Solomon worship the wrong god(s) by accident and this…
Read MorePodcast: Play in new window | Download (Duration: 1:17:02 — 105.8MB)
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EP163 (1 Kings 11) The interupter gets ripped off on Facebook marketplace. This week the bible reads more like a magazine listing all of the hookups of king Solomon. Solomon, the wisest man to have ever lived past, present, or future, takes for himself 700 royal wives. If that were not enough he picked up…
Read MorePodcast: Play in new window | Download (Duration: 58:19 — 80.1MB)
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EP162 (1 Kings 10) Caleb delves into his dark past as a crackhead. The bible turns into a reality show. The Queen of Sheba visits Solomon to validate the claims of his wealth and wisdom. Solomon of course lives up to the hype as the smartest man that ever lived. Next, it turns into an…
Read MorePodcast: Play in new window | Download (Duration: 1:05:47 — 90.3MB)
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EP161 (1 Kings 9) Happy New Year Dipshits! The year of our lord 2020 is over and it ended with a spectacular shit show. The boys head up to the woods for a bonfire and somebody gets real stuck. In the distant, non existent past the lord answers King Solomons prayers. He says some nice…
Read MorePodcast: Play in new window | Download (Duration: 1:16:51 — 105.5MB)
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EP160 (1 Kings 8) Merry Christmas dildos! Its a covid Christmas nightmare. The Interrupters family comes to town with hives of bees. We’re not kidding. The Lord of Hosts tries Zoom Caroling. 4000 years ago Solomon dedicated the temple to the lord, humble bragging the entire time. We discuss the preposterous number of animals sacrificed….
Read MorePodcast: Play in new window | Download (Duration: 1:17:00 — 107.5MB)
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