Bible Beaters

In The Beginning – (Genesis 1-2)

In The Beginning – (Genesis 1-2)

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Podcast: Play in new window | Download (Duration: 56:00 — 51.5MB)

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EP1 (Genesis 1-2) of the Bible Beaters podcast Kyle and Caleb explain (poorly) the idea behind the podcast and a little bit about themselves. Then they go back into the beginning of time starting Genesis 1:1 In the beginning God created the heavens and the earth. We go over the first week in existence and why the liquor stores close early on Sundays. Adam gets settled into the garden of Eden and Eve comes along causing trouble in paradise.

Such and Such, and So and So (2 Samuel 16-17)

Such and Such, and So and So (2 Samuel 16-17)

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Podcast: Play in new window | Download (Duration: 52:57 — 48.5MB)

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EP142 (2 Samuel 16-17) It’s better to get pissed off than pissed on. David continues his pity parade until he meets Mephibosheth the cripple he helped before. Janky legs hooks him up with a bunch of donkeys, bread, wine, and figs. David moves on to the next town where he meets a relative of dead king Saul who rightfully blames David for the war and tells David to go fuck himself. We get a little sidetracked talking about hunting rodents. Back in Jerusalem, Absalom, the hottest dood in Israel, is advised to publicly fuck his dads palace prozzies to incite a war. Absalom has 2 advisors that tell him to do such and such or so and so. He decides to go with so and so then David has to run away again. Caleb runs away to Sweden.

Egg Warmer (2 Samuel 15)

Egg Warmer (2 Samuel 15)

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Podcast: Play in new window | Download (Duration: 1:10:32 — 64.6MB)

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EP141 Egg Warmer (2 Samuel 15) The fellas are recording first thing in the morning and its as exciting as morning radio. Absalom, the hottest dude in Israel, begins glad-handing townspeople and sowing sedition undermining king David. The sexy Jew is suceeds in enticing the people of Israel to his side and king David is forced to flee. David runs away crying and all he passes by join in his weeping parade as if it were the worlds shittiests conga dance. Caleb tells a weird sex story. A listener inquires about the significance of the number 40 in the bible.