Exodus

There’s Only One Way to Tell if Your Baby Floats – (Exodus 1-2)

EP19 (Exodus 1-2) Long after Joseph has died the Israelites have been coerced into slavery by the Egyptians. In fact the jewish infestation is so severe that pharaoh orders all hebrew boys to be thrown into the Nile. Luckily for Moses his mother put him in a basket first. Which in turn is found by the…

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God’s Plan 2.0 – (Exodus 3-4)

EP20 (Exodus 3-4) The Israelites are miserably enslaved and god decides to send help for his favorite people so he decides Moses is the man for the job. The only problem is that Moses really doesn’t wanna be the guy. God then has to convince this little shit that Moses is, in fact, the right guy for…

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Big Gay Retard – (Exodus 5-6)

EP21 (Exodus 5-6) Caleb tries to tell us about his rugby game. Kyle interrupts to say nothing. In the bible Moses and A-A-ron reluctantly agree to be the voice of god and tell Pharaoh to let god’s people go because they wanna go to burning man. Instead of simply changing Pharaoh’s mind to be nice…

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A Plague of Dick Jokes – (Exodus 7-8)

EP22 (Exodus 7-8) Kyle tells an embarrassing story about not picking up a stripper. In the bible god begins to demonstrate his awesome power. For his first trick Aaron throws down his staff and it becomes a snake. Pharaoh’s magicians copy the trick and so begins the magicians duel. Kyle literally can’t stop making dick…

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God Likes His Steak Well Done – (Exodus 9-11)

EP23 (Exodus 9-11) The magicians duel is heating up. Pharaoh’s magicians bow out at producing gnats so Moses goes 6 steps further and with god’s help plagues the Egyptians with dead livestock, festering boils, giant balls of hail, swarms of locusts, darkness one can feel, and death of every first born human and animal. Then…

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The Least Creative Way to Kill People – (Exodus 12-14)

EP24 (Exodus 12-14) Caleb recounts being berated by one of his heroes Doug Stanhope. The Jews are celebrating the first Passover (read the first moment god did NOT kill your firstborn). It is imperative that nobody eats yeast and don’t ask me to explain it. Then the Israelites perform one of the greatest escapes of all…

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God Feeds Humans Like Ducks – (Exodus 15-18)

EP25 (Exodus 15-18) Kyle gets robbed by a homeless person and has to buy his own phone back. Caleb cracks a guys teeth in half. In the Bible god’s chosen people are celebrating the major victory god gave them by drowning their enemies who foolishly tried to follow them across the dry bottom of the…

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The Ten Commandments – (Exodus 19-20)

EP26 (Exodus 19-20) Caleb comes second last place in an air guitar competition. Kyle is still really hung up on a piece of wood leading to the logical conclusion that god is retarded. God starts making more promises about all the great stuff he will do and tells Moses to come talk to him at…

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The Donkey of Someone Who Hates You – (Exodus 20-22)

EP27 (Exodus 20-22) God expands on his Top Ten list of things not to do. Highlights include progressive ideas like “anyone who curses their father or mother is to be put to death” or “If you see the donkey of someone who hates you fallen down under its load, do not leave it there; be…

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God Likes Meeting in Private – (Exodus 23-24)

EP28 (Exodus 23-24) Kyle and Caleb discuss failed business ventures. Kyle tells everyone who listens to this podcast to “GO FUCK YOURSELVES” Caleb calmly tells him to lower his eyebrows. The podcasts divulges into a general discussion about Christianity and what Jesus talked about. Then we get to talking about more of gods laws.

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