Don’t Meet Your Heroes They’ll Call You Gay (Joshua 23-24)

Don’t Meet Your Heroes They’ll Call You Gay (Joshua 23-24)

EP90 (Joshua 23-24) Caleb and Kyle discuss email scams. Caleb has to go on a 9 hour drive while sick. We meander into the topics of consciousness and personal responsibility about we are too stupid to contribute meaningfully in any way. Joshua is getting old so he makes a big speech about how great god is and reminds them that they are going to sin and god will punish them for. Back in modernity, we discuss how long it will be before the climate apocalypse. A listener sends a very long list of questions and tries to suggest that all of the different races humanity came from 4 couples.

Misunderstandings (Joshua 20-22)

Misunderstandings (Joshua 20-22)

EP89 (Joshua 20-22) Kyle has to fix his ex’s moms computer. Caleb recap’s his trip to Sweden (he even gets backstage with his favorite band). Kyle wets the couch. Caleb re reads and corrects last weeks podcast. Erstwhile, the Israelites continue their conquest into the promise land. To nobody’s surprise some of the tribes start worshiping false idols. Through some good ol’ fashioned nepotism they are able to circumvent the wrath of the merciful creator.

Stacy’s One True Son (Joshua 19-20)

Stacy’s One True Son (Joshua 19-20)

EP88 (Joshua 19-20) A special edition bible beater podcast hosted by Simeon Campbell, the youngest and funniest of the Campbell clan. In this episode they discuss growing up in church,  YWAM, crossing the line, preaching in church, dreams, puking in church, amongst all the other bullshit. Kyle is put off in a game of racist chicken. Simeon reads the passage about cities of refuge and towns for the levites. A listener asks about the population of Israel and divine intervention.

Beyond Pussy (Joshua 19)

Beyond Pussy (Joshua 19)

EP87 (Joshua 19) We discuss the ethics of what could be done to meat grown in petri dishes. We talk about if hell is a fair punishment and what heaven would be like. We read a long list of names and places that nobody gives a fuck about.  We get an email asking for a dream interpretation which makes Caleb regret starting the podcast and the dream segment.

Destiny’s Not a Stripper (Joshua 16-18)

Destiny’s Not a Stripper (Joshua 16-18)

EP86 (Joshua 16-18) Kyle is so obsessed with garage sailing that Caleb nearly takes one of the many toasters Kyle won’t shut up about for a baptism. Caleb has an epic story about being marooned in a small town without pants. The jews commit and record number of genocides and war crimes.

We have more lists of places and people that seem boring and long winded, however these are crucial to your salvation, so do not skip this episode. A listener emails in with some good points about the practical reality of the sun stopping. 

10 9 8 7 666 Hail Satan (Joshua 14-15)

10 9 8 7 666 Hail Satan (Joshua 14-15)

EP85 (Joshua 14-15) Caleb comes back from Armstrong Metal Fest and regales us with tales of alcoholism and overdoses. We learn how Caleb got his name. The bible character Caleb goes and kills giants as 85 year old badass. Then there is more names and places. A historian shits on Kyle’s reading skills and calls Caleb a neckbeard while wondering what should be done with the holy city of Jerusalem.

Places You’ve Never Heard Of, People You Don’t Know (Joshua 12-13)

Places You’ve Never Heard Of, People You Don’t Know (Joshua 12-13)

EP84 (Joshua 12-13) The podcast begins with some comedy shop talk and meanders in to fight stories. We skip ahead a little bit and hear the story of when a girl gets burned alive and it was pleasing to the lord. Then we have lists of defeated kings and kingdoms followed by the division of lands and provinces. A listener asks about what kind of equipment we have which turns out to be spam. Then we try to lose all of our fans.

The Tables Have Turned (Joshua 10-11)

The Tables Have Turned (Joshua 10-11)

EP83 (Joshua 10-11) Kyle gets a new place. He then says that he can do the podcast by himself and proceeds to fail horribly. Kyle perfectly encapsulates the next 5 chapters of the bible as a game of risk, We are at the point of the game where everybody knows who will win but we still have to go the rigmarole of rolling the dice and moving the pieces. Except in this case men, women, and children are suffering horribly and god likes it. We come across Caleb’s favorite Bible verse.

JEWrusalem (Joshua 10)

JEWrusalem (Joshua 10)

EP82 (Joshua 10) We talk about Kyle’s horrible taste in music. Kyle is worried about finding a new place to live. The Jews now need to protect their new property the Gibeonites. So they march out against an alliance of five kings. God casts a spell of confusion on them and the rain hail on them. An incredible miracle occurs when god stopped the sun in the sky so that his people can prolong the indiscriminate killing of their enemies. The kings are captured and tortured before being hung from trees. Kieth sends us a wonderful rambling email.

Full Blown HIVites (Joshua 9)

Full Blown HIVites (Joshua 9)

EP81 (Joshua 9) Kyle cleans up his hunting cabin. Caleb smuggles a grenade on a plane. Judas priest came to town. In bible times the Gibeonites find an ingenious way to escape god’s wrath. They pretend to be from far away and asks if they can be slaves instead of massacred. Joshua likes this idea but is very disappointed when he finds out they actually live in the promised. Bound by their own honor the Israelites enslave the Gibeonites and make them water carriers.