Skip Church and Listen To The Bible Beaters (Joshua 7-9)

Skip Church and Listen To The Bible Beaters (Joshua 7-9)

Ep80 (Joshua 7-9) Kyle’s fishing trip was a moderate success. Caleb learns that he needs to shut the fuck about other peoples podcasts. The Jews after suffering a minor setback continue their conquest burning the the city of Ai and massacring the habitants. We imagine how much work we could get done with thousands of slaves. Time to renew God’s covenant before it expires. A listener asks about the inbredness of Jesus and his immediate family. Another listener extols the veracity of the bible. What an idiot.

You’re In God’s Way (Joshua 5-7)

You’re In God’s Way (Joshua 5-7)

EP79 (Joshua 5-7) Golf is not a sport. The podcast gets meta. We touch on the hilarious concept of spiritual warfare. Next the Jews, with god’s help, bring down the oldest walled city on planet earth in extraordinary fashion. They march around it playing trumpets to the annoyance of the residents. They kill everyone except to the prostitute and her family and take all the loot. Then some douche bag named Achan steal some plunder and causing 36 Israeli casualties. A listener asks us about LGBT christians.

God Dam (Joshua 3-5)

God Dam (Joshua 3-5)

Ep78 (Joshua 3-5) The Israelites are finally invading the promised land and they arrive at the first obstacle. The Jordan river lies between them and the city of Jericho (the planet’s oldest walled city.) Once again the Jews get across the water without getting their feet wet because god piles the river up in heap. We get hung up on this for quite some time imagining scenarios in which this could be possible. The Jews take 12 rocks as irrefutable proof that this event happened. Then they have another dick cutting session because god loves that shit. We get a little side tracked talking about breast milk. A listener asks us if he should sacrifice his wife to god.

Jews In The Attic (Joshua 1-2)

Jews In The Attic (Joshua 1-2)

EP77 (Joshua 1-2) After a short but lengthy preamble, we summarize the bible up to this point, as is tradition when we begin a new biblical book. Kyle’s heathen bastardized version has some fascinating insights regarding meaning and purpose in a fallen world. The bible gets interesting again finally. Two Israeli spies enter Jericho and immediately head to the brothel. There they meet a prostitute who hides them from the king in exchange for her family’s safety. A listener points out some glaring biblical contradictions while a different listener is convinced the bible is historically accurate