EP53 (Numbers 25 – 26) Kyle gets misogynistic about women and he hates dogs. Caleb gets misogynistic about women drivers. We dive right into an orgy with the Moabites. God, who is slow to anger and abounding in forgiveness of rebellion, is, of course, SUPER jealous and commands Moses to kill the leadership. Then while they are weeping a man brings a woman to bang in his tent. God strikes down 24,000 people with the plague. So a descendant of A-A-Ron stabs them both with a spear. Joshua is selected as the new leader of Israel.
EP54 (Numbers 27 – 28) Guess what? More offerings. Caleb tells some rugby stories. The bible has some progressive ideas about what women are allowed to make vows about. The unfaithful discuss the ethics of mega churches and televangelists.
Ep55 (Numbers 29 – 31) Caleb describes his trip to the hipster cyclist cafe. It was a catastrophe. In the bible the slow to anger god demands the Israelites destroy the Midianites for letting their women have sex with the Jewish men. On god’s instruction they burn down the Midianite cities and take all the virgin women as slaves. Kyle slanders Mother Teresa. One of the unfaithful asks us about the feminist bible. It’s dumber than it sounds.
EP56 (Numbers 32 – 33) The Lord of Hosts recounts his hellish Christmas party gigs. Then they talk about how to become a man in a hot tub. In the Bible the Jews cross the Jordan river and conquer more territories. Of course god gets angry about something and it makes him aroused.
Ep57 (Numbers 33 – 36) The Bible Beaters come back from their brief hiatus with sad news. The bible then lists all the stops on Israel make believe journey through the desert. The jews then begin to the divide the spoils of the war the haven’t fought yet but are confident they will win. Caleb profoundly embarrasses himself. Then there are some very weird laws about manslaughter and cities of refuge.