The Bible Beaters

The Bible Beater Podcast is exactly what you think it is. We read the bible as is it written word for ridiculous word. Hosted by preacher’s kid Caleb Campbell and Hutterite colony survivor Kyle Vestner, The Bible Beaters irreverently read, examine, and analyze a new chapter every week and answer your bible questions. We scrutinize all kinds of biblical and theological topics such as:
why would god make Abraham cut off the tip of his dick if he made man in his own image?
Did king David really exist?
Is god a liar? Why is he such an asshole?
Is it reasonable to make laws based on a 3000 yr piece of propaganda?
How many animals equal a human sacrifice?
Why is antisemitism so prevalent around the world?
Why do the Jews have all the money? Did they steal it?
New episodes released every Sunday so you can skip Church listen to Bible Beaters! Caleb believes you should start at the beginning but Kyle think our most recent shit is funnier either way your salvation depends on it.

Hosted ByCaleb Campbell & Kyle Vestner

All Episodes

Pickin Up Chicks – (Genesis 24-25)

EP9 (Genesis 24-25) Isaac is all grown up and the most eligible bachelor around. In keeping with his incestuous...

Take My Wife Please – (Genesis 20-23)

EP8 (Genesis 20-23) After the destruction of the Sodomites Lot’s wife is turned into a pillar of seasoning. Since...

Sodom and Gomorrah Destroyed – (Genesis 15-19)

EP7 (Genesis 15-19) The first thing god decides his favorite person has to do is circumcise himself and everyone...

Punished on Their Behalf – (Genesis 12-14)

EP6 (Genesis 12-14) We are introduced to Abram who becomes maybe the most important pimp of all time. God...

Tower of Babel – (genesis 9-12)

EP5 (genesis 9-12) Humanity tries to repopulate after being destroyed in the floods.  Somebody gets the idea of building...

Christmas Special – (Luke 2:1-20 NIV)

EP4 (Luke 2:1-20 NIV) we recorded just before Christmas so we skipped ahead to the birth of Christ. This...

Rainbow Hypocrisy – (Genesis 6-9)

EP3 (Genesis 6-9) God already regrets making mankind at all and decides to kill almost everyone. He does this...

Dumb Snakes – (Genesis 2-5)

EP2 (Genesis 2-5) of the story takes a dramatic turn. The woman god put there causes the fall of...

In The Beginning – (Genesis 1-2)

EP1 (Genesis 1-2) of the Bible Beaters podcast Kyle and Caleb explain (poorly) the idea behind the podcast and...