The Bible Beaters

The Bible Beater Podcast is exactly what you think it is. We read the bible as is it written word for ridiculous word. Hosted by preacher’s kid Caleb Campbell and Hutterite colony survivor Kyle Vestner, The Bible Beaters irreverently read, examine, and analyze a new chapter every week and answer your bible questions. We scrutinize all kinds of biblical and theological topics such as:
why would god make Abraham cut off the tip of his dick if he made man in his own image?
Did king David really exist?
Is god a liar? Why is he such an asshole?
Is it reasonable to make laws based on a 3000 yr piece of propaganda?
How many animals equal a human sacrifice?
Why is antisemitism so prevalent around the world?
Why do the Jews have all the money? Did they steal it?
New episodes released every Sunday so you can skip Church listen to Bible Beaters! Caleb believes you should start at the beginning but Kyle think our most recent shit is funnier either way your salvation depends on it.

Hosted ByCaleb Campbell & Kyle Vestner

All Episodes

Bible Beaters Goes Heavy Metal (1 Kings 16)

Ep170 (1 Kings 16) Today we react to 2 thousand years of oppression. Some genius put gods voice to...

Harbor Freight J’s (1 Kings 15 -16)

Ep169 (1 Kings 15 -16) Me and my homies talk about revisiting old movies that you thought were good...

I Thought We Were Friends (1 Kings 15)

Ep168 (1 Kings 15) It’s Caleb’s birthday so everyone gets handjob because we are close buddies. We get into...

If You Can Read This… (1 Kings 14)

Ep16 (1 Kings 14) Happy Valentines day dipshits. We reinvestigate the story of Steve and Larry the lying prophet...

Here Comes The Bride (1 Kings 13)

Ep166 (1 Kings 13) Caleb has had his balls removed. In Bible times, king Jeroboam is worshipping cows will...

Jeroboam Rehoboam

Ep165 (1 Kings 12) Kyle gets beat down worse than Connor Macgregor. Solomon has died and the Kingdom is...

Justice Boner (1 Kings 11)

Ep 164 (1 Kings 11) Much like christ, the Lord of Hosts has been forsaken by his father. The...

Solomon’s Hoes (1 Kings 11)

EP163 (1 Kings 11) The interupter gets ripped off on Facebook marketplace. This week the bible reads more like...